Just Say “No” to Sharpies!

By Dan LaBok

MAD synopsis: In lieu of the less expensive sharpie to write expiration dates on handicap parking placards, the General Assembly passed legislation for a $48,332 plus hole-punch system.  Then there’s the enforcement.

MAGIC MARKERS:” MAGIC KNOW MORE”

We’ve all seen them while walking through a parking lot, passing by the handicapped spaces and seeing that familiar blue placard hanging from the rearview mirror with giant black marker showing the expiration date.

But now thanks to House Bill 10-1019 introduced by Democrats, entitled ‘Disabled Parking Education and Enforcement Fund-Created” the black magic marker, is magic no more.

Instead they decided at a cost of $48,332 “or so much thereof as may be necessary, for the implementation of this act” to do away with the $1.99 sharpie, and have new placards with a hole punch system. Their reasoning for this: “to prevent persons from altering the placard”.

So now any police officer driving by, who once was able to see clearly the expiration date, will now have to leave his squad car and place his face against a cars window in order to read it.

But wait there’s more! Also included in this 23-page bill, is a great slush fund for the Colorado Advisory Council for Persons with Disabilities. In section 42-3-204 and 42-4-1208 they “may make grants or develop or deliver education programs” and “the advantages of creating a volunteer enforcement program”. So be on the lookout for the Placard Posse at a Wal-Mart near you.

Other neat stuff in this bill include, that any person with “an identifying license plate or placard may be parked in a public parking area, along public streets regardless of any time limitation imposed” and “no person who owns, operates or manages a parking space that requires remuneration shall tow, boot, or otherwise take adverse action for failure to pay”. Just like free parking in Monopoly!

So how do we pay for this? It comes out of the general fund, with fine increases for violations of this new law. Over 6,000 citations will have to be issued each year to break even, assuming that this new government program doesn’t expand. So once the police have stopped the gangs, drug smuggling, violent crime, they will be in hot pursuit of black market placard trading.

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